


Sweet Transvestite

by Flantastic



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Musicals, Theatre, q is a sneaky little shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2017-07-04
Packaged: 2018-11-23 12:25:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11402367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flantastic/pseuds/Flantastic
Summary: Q takes Eve to the theatre.





	Sweet Transvestite

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2017 007 Fest. Trope Reversal Prompt Table 009 "Sassy Tanner".

Eve rather enjoyed her nights out with Q.

Whenever his man 007 was out of town for longer than a week they’d taken to going out on ‘dates’ and Q was good company even if he did insist on trying to set her up with his friends.  It was her own fault she supposed.  She’d spent enough time bemoaning her lack of success in attracting men who didn’t ultimately turn out to be utter arseholes.

Friday, it turned out, was to be date night.  Q had managed to procure tickets to a bijou theatre production of The Rocky Horror Show, courtesy of Tanner who, Q had said, fancied some company.  Apparently he knew some of the cast and had assured Q that it would be a hoot.  Eve loved the show so she’d agreed, arranging to meet up with Q early at a wine bar for some pre-theatre drinks.

“So where’s Tanner?  I thought we were supposed to be seeing this thing with him.”  Eve asked eventually as she checked her watch.  There was only twenty minutes until curtain-up.

“He said he’d see us in there.  He said something about wanting to go to a party first.”

“A party?”  Eve’s interest was piqued. “Did he say where?”

Q took a sip of his drink and grinned.

“Why?”  He asked slyly, “Are we interested Miss Moneypenny?”

She felt herself blush and took a sip of her own drink to cover it.

“In Tanner?  You know he’s not my type.”

“Smart, intelligent, well-mannered… yes, I can see how he’d turn your stomach.”

“It’s not that!”  She insisted.  “He’s… well, he’s just a little bit _dull_ don’t you think?”

Q shrugged.

“Oh I don’t know.  If he was a cock-lover I wouldn’t say no to a fumble.  I’d imagine he’d be a bit of a goer if you got him in the sack…”

Eve burst out laughing.

“Are you sure we’re both talking about the same Tanner?”

Q laughed with her and then downed his drink.

“Come on then.  Let’s get going.”

 

They took their seats in the little theatre.  There was an empty seat next to Eve and she looked around expectantly for Tanner.  There was no sign of him.  At eight o’clock sharp the lights dimmed and a spotlight picked out one of the usherettes at the front of the stage.  A piano started to play and right on cue she started to sing:-

_“Michael Rennie was ill the day the earth stood still_

_But he told us where we stand_

_And Flash Gordon was there in silver underwear_

_Claude Raines was the invisible man…”_

“Where the hell’s Tanner?”  Eve whispered, worried he was going to annoy people by turning up late.

“Shhh.”  Q didn’t even look at her, he was watching the singer with rapt attention.  Eve could see why, she was very good.  Settling back in her seat, she decided to stop worrying about Tanner and enjoy the show.

The cast were all amateurs according to the posters outside the theatre.  She’d wanted to buy one of the little programmes on the way in but Q had talked her out of it.  It was a waste of a fiver, he’d said, and she wasn’t likely to recognise any of the people in the show anyway.  In typical am dram style not all of the cast members ‘fitted’ their roles.  Brad was about fifteen years too old, as was his Janet, and Riff-Raff was far too handsome but they all threw themselves into their parts with abandon.  By the time party-goers had done the Time Warp and Brad and Janet were nervously making their excuses to leave.  Eve had a smile on her face.  The opening bars of Sweet Transvestite began to thump and she tapped her foot and got ready to sing along with her favourite song of the show.   Right on cue the lift door opened and Dr. Frank-N-Furter turned to face the audience with a flourish, throwing off his cloak.  Eve’s jaw dropped.

“You have _got_ to be shitting me!”

_“How do you do I see you've met my faithful handyman_

_He's just a little brought down 'cause when you knocked He thought you were the candy-man (didn’t ya freaky?)_

_Don't get strung out by the way I look Don't judge a book by its cooooover_

_I'm not much of a man by the light of day But by night I'm one heeeeell of a looooover”_

Tanner sashayed to the front of the stage, strutting impeccably in his six-inch high heels.  He was wearing the traditional Frank Costume of tiny black pants, corset, stockings and suspenders.  Seeing him at work, Eve always thought of him as being a little on the tubby side but dressed (or undressed) the way he was, he was gorgeous.  Well covered, yes, but oh so well built.  He moved like a cat, sassily strutting his stuff before dropping to the floor in front of Brad and slowly grinding up against him.  He was wearing a curly black wig which jiggled as he danced across the stage and Eve wondered what M would say if he ever saw his Chief of Operations like this…  She turned to look at Q and realised he’d been watching her out of the corner of his eye, a grin on his face.

“You knew.  You bastard!”

Q looked like he was trying not to die laughing as he slipped his hand into hers. 

“I did say he was going to a party first…” Q giggled, “…I just omitted to say it was at a hunting lodge for rich weirdos…”

They watched the rest of the show holding hands.

 

After the show finished they loitered in the foyer, waiting for Tanner to come out.

“I still can’t believe you didn’t tell me!”

Q laughed.

“I wanted to see the look on your face.  Dull old Tanner, prancing around in ladies’ knickers eh?”

“How did you find out?”

“He told me.  They were having trouble with their sound desk.  He asked me if I could have a look at it for them.  I saw their first run-through and asked if I might bring you along to the opening night.”

“You asked permission?”

“Tanner… well, he’s got a bit of a thing for you Eve.  I didn’t want to just assume and embarrass him.”

“What do you mean he’s got a bit of a thing?”

Just at that moment Q looked past her and waved.

“Hello Billy.”

“Alright mate?  Eve?”

Tanner looked freshly showered now and was dressed casually but Eve could see the lingering remains of his sparkly make-up on his cheeks.  He grinned at her and she found herself grinning back.  He looked so cute.

“You were fabulous darling.  I never would have dreamed it.”

Tanner blushed but he didn’t look away.  Instead he gazed at her, looking delighted.

“Do you really think so?  It’s the first time I’ve played Frank although I have done the show before.  I played Brad when I was at university.”

“Really?  I’ve always loved Rocky Horror.  I was part of an appreciation society at my uni.  We used to throw watch parties for the Picture Show and get horribly drunk singing along with it all.”

“Now, I like the way you know the difference between the Show and the Picture Show.  A lot of people refer to the stage show as the Picture Show and of course there are differences…”

Q stood to one side and watched as his two friends started to discuss the intricacies of the Rocky Horror Show, wondering where the night might take them.  He wondered how much longer he should stay before he was “unexpectedly” called into the office and he was forced to leave it to Billy to escort Eve home.  He tried to hide his smile. 

He’d give it five more minutes.

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
